People forget everyone grieves differently, but society has destroyed the word "normal". I have been called a bad mother with poor judgement, or that i should be beat to an inch of my life for me grieving my daughter by posting her pictures on facebook. Dealing with that and more from August 28th has made my grieving harder. Alot of people think "that will never happen to me" when realistically everything could happen to anyone.
I might be strong on the outside, but realistically I'm barely here. My life feels like a blur, like I'm standing on th street and cars are speeding past me. Reality of Hannah's death is slowly hitting, but in many ways it feels like a dream. I only leave my apartment if I'm with someone else, or I'm going to meet someone downstairs. I don't leave the 3rd floor.
I'm so happy for my friends who are/have expected the arrival of their daughters, it's difficult for me to look at pictures and not see Hannah's face, or for me to share in the excitement. Deep down I honestly am excited for you all.
All Hannah knew was love, I'm glad she didnt have to deal with the hate and the rude people. I don't want people feeling sorry for me. I want people to keep reminding society that "normal" doesnt exist.
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